gracie

Memorial Day

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Mon, 26 May 2003 18:32:46 GMT

At the beginning of the Cub's game today, they had a fly-over by Challenger, a 15 year-old bald eagle. He was truly magnificent; however, he looked rather ignominious in the leather hood they had him wearing. He started out in center field, amongst the fans, so I'm sure the hood was so he wouldn't be scared by the crowd, or something similar. But, he looked either like a viking bird with the pointy metal helmet with two braids hanging down, or a redneck hunter with the thick hat, earflaps and ties flopping around. Then, the handler took his little hood off, and he took to the skies. He then took on all the magnificence and spledor natural to his species. He flew over his 2nd handler on the field a few times, and then landed. How does the bald eagle manage to look so noble and intelligent? They should really redesign that hood-thing so he doesn't look so silly.

Another semi-amusing occurrence today was when Em went shopping. She went to Meijer to pick up some things, and came back totally abashed. She had worn a t-shirt she hasn't had on since last summer...and doesn't know what ever posessed her to pick it to wear today, of all days. What's so wrong with it? Well, it has a huge German flag emblazoned across the front, with the saying, "Not only am I perfect, I'm German, too!" She got it at last year's GermanFest in Milwaukee. Now, she's of German descent, but many of her family members have served with distinction in this country's military. She has her father's memorial flag (the one they fold at the funeral) displayed in a prominent spot in her room. And, she's pretty patriotic, too. So, who knows why she did what she did, but she said she never got so many glares from old men as she did at Meijer today. That's my Em. :-)

Reminder to enjoy life

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Thu, 22 May 2003 16:04:04 GMT

Usually I'm not a big fan of cheesy mailings instructing me to "send to 10 friends," but I thought this one was fairly pertinent.

In honor of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well. We only get one shot at this and then it's gone. I hope you all have a blessed day.

I'm not sure about all the "blesseds" at the end, but it reminds me to lighten up and enjoy things while at the same time striving to be an upright, responsible, caring person.

Alarming coincidence

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Fri, 16 May 2003 21:55:16 GMT

Em's birthday was yesterday. I was to meet her and a few friends at the Ribeye. As the car turned into the parking lot, I noticed the ex-fiance's father waiting to pull in. I panicked, I admit. I haven't run into any of his family for about a year now, and that was just fine. I called Em on her cell phone (she was already inside) and said, "The Nelsons are here. I cannot do this." She, being the best friend that she is, said, "Take a deep breath. I'm coming out to get you."

Of course, they ended up sitting at the table right next to us. "They" meaning the entire family - Dr. & Mrs. Nelson, one of their two daughters, Dr. Nelson's brother and sister-in-law, and their two adult children. (Dr. Nelson's brother was the pastor who was going to perform the ceremony.) Thanks to Em's quick maneuvering, I sat with my back to them. When they walked past to the salad bar, Mrs. Nelson spoke. All of the family ended up saying "hello," except for Pastor Nelson. They were all very polite, as was I. With Em's help, I was able to face them and cross that bridge without falling into the proverbial water of despair. I realize that though they are "nice" people, I am so much better off now. I was so miserable with him...my parents and I are all much better off not being around them anymore. It was great to be able to tell them that I was going to France for vacation and then off to Chicago and Caremark.

Even before that instance, I really have been feeling better about myself, and what I've got now. I have been very, very lucky. Things that would have driven others to despair, I have dealt with and conquered. Perhaps that whole engagement was meant to be a learning experience, and meant to turn me up right here, where I've met such great friends. Being here has set me on a course of self-improvement; and, though I dislike this job intensely, I do not regret the time I've spent. Living with Em and growing closer to her, healing, letting others into my life again...has all been worth it.

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Fri, 16 May 2003 19:39:10 GMT

oooohhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuck

and i just found out i dropped the ball and Kamin doesn't have a cap & gown for Sunday...shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

now i'm calling like a mad-woman

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Fri, 16 May 2003 18:37:21 GMT

big snafu with CS 350 final now we've got a boatload of pissed-off students in the office

great, already upset, just what i needed - irate undergrads

Hah

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Thu, 08 May 2003 21:43:56 GMT

Just received this from someone else who works in DCL: http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html

Pretty funny considering two of my officemates walked out in anger this afternoon after getting yelled at by their boss for a totally stupid issue. ELEVEN DAYS and TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES, oh, God, I can't wait. Yesterday was a trip, too. Have to describe that sometime.

In other news, I'm jealous of dygel's web-based photo gallery setup (to the point where I'm tempted to apply myself and actually learn PHP), and also envious of ant's photographic compositional abilities.

Summary: I've lost track, but I think the point is that I am lazy and also happy to be getting the hell out of here.

(And my asthma is horrible today which resulted in me missing half a day of work, and being miserable for the 4 hours I was here.)

Dear God, I'm bored

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Tue, 06 May 2003 18:32:47 GMT

I am sitting here at work. I have not gotten an e-mail since 10:20am this morning. I am so incredibly bored, it's not even funny. The problem is, I have two projects I can work on, should finish really, before I leave. IN 13.5 DAYS. Anyway, these projects are completely, mind-numblingly boring.

One of them is organizing the CS Department's course outline folders. These are a hodge-podge of papers and files located in two different places. I sort through all this inane administrative paperwork, throw out the duplicates (of which there are many), and arrange neatly in chronological order. I then do a small timeline of each course, for inclusion in the front of each folder, to show its progression throughout the years. This is semi-interesting to me, given my enjoyment of investigative principles; however, much of the paper is old and flakey (thus making my eyes water and my nose run), completely useless to keep, or just plain boring to sort. I get sleepy, yawn, and can't keep my eyes open.

My second project involves crunching numbers from last semester's CS course enrollments. First, I copy and paste a course's participants from the master copy (containing all courses with all enrollees) into a separate spreadsheet. I then sort them by grad, undergrad, then combined. For each of these groupings, I calculate the percentage of students who received A+, A, A-, B+, etc. I've done all the 100- and 200-level courses, and am halfway through the 300's. There is probably a more efficient way of going about this, but I'm sure not coming up with anything. The problem is, I can't really use one of these projects as a break from the other, because they're both so unbelievable boring!

Plus, the office is falling apart even worse, everyone is hateful to everyone else, and I can't wait to get the heck out of here. And a student was just rude to me. I hate this place. All I really want to do is read courttv.com and turn up the music to drown out my officemates. Well, given that my monitor is insanely huge, and Kay can see it from where she sits, surfing the web is out. And, since my stupid MSN radio isn't working, I can't even find solace in music. Blah.

Good feelings

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Tue, 06 May 2003 13:44:14 GMT

Last night, I was going to start exercising with my free weights. Instead, Em and I made a pitcher of margaritas (Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!) and I gave us both pedicures. Em's mom called for something, and I told her to come on over, and I'd do hers, too. She's in her 70's and can't really reach her feet anymore, so this was a real treat for her. So, though I didn't exercise my muscles, I exercised my heart. It feels good.

Saturday's exciting news

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Mon, 05 May 2003 21:24:26 GMT

I received the results of my Pharmacy Technician Certification Board (PTCB) exam in the mail...I passed! Hooray. :-)

Small explanation. To become a *Licensed* Pharmacy Technician in the State of Illinois, one must simply fill out a short application form and pay the state $60. See details here. I've been a licensed pharmacy technician since I got my first pharmacy job in 1994. I let it lapse in 1999 (since one must pay a $25 renewal fee each year, and I wasn't using it), and then I applied to renew it this March. If one wishes to demonstrate one's prowess in the pharmacy field, while at the same time making one eligible for better jobs with higher pay, one may apply to take the PTCB exam. This is comprised of 100+ questions relating to three areas of pharmacy:

1) assisting pharmacist in serving patients
2) maintaining medication inventory control systems
3) administrative managment of pharmacy practice

It was $120 to sign up for, and won't help me all that much, since I've already acquired a new job. However, it felt really good to be able to pass (and pass well), given that I've not been practicing pharmacy since June 1999. Especially given that I'm just not very good at simple arithmetic. :-) So, for my job, I can now legally sign my name, "G. G. Busby, C.Ph.T." I also should be better qualified for promotions and raises in the future. I'll have to do a certain amount of Continuing Education (CE) each year to keep the certification current, which shouldn't be any problem. I'm rather full of myself today.... :-)

CUBBIES!

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Mon, 05 May 2003 21:02:20 GMT

Since I can't seem to make time to write about Em & my experience on Friday, I'll just copy the e-mail I sent out!

"I think you all know that Martha and I went to the Cubs vs. Rockies game
yesterday. I didn't take any pictures of the actual game, as it was TOO
STINKING COLD, and I couldn't feel my fingers! But, afterwards, we hung
around to see the players and were amply rewarded by the number who
stopped to sign autographs: Tom Goodwin (outfielder), Joe Borowski
(pitcher), Mike Remlinger (pitcher), and, most amazing of all, Kerry
Wood (pitcher)!!! What a day. :-) After a delicious dinner at Leona's
on Taylor Street, we headed home, arriving at around midnight.

We also had an interesting encounter with an irate pedestrian...but
that's another story for another day. ;-)

Wanna' see pictures?!? Go here:
http://www.staff.uiuc.edu/~ggbusby/CubsMay2003/

Each picture is titled. They're not organized or laid out all pretty,
but they're there!"

Sorry

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Thu, 01 May 2003 15:44:35 GMT

Okay, so my life isn't ending. Sorry for the mild panic which ensued, but I was truly upset. I'm a bit unbalanced in my reactions occasionally; however, at that moment in time, I truly believe what I am feeling.

So, what happened is that I made a mental miscalculation and managed to overdraft my checking account by $0.10. For that, I get smacked with a $30 fee. And, from that, the feelings snowball.

- I can't do math, thus I'm retarded
- I can't manage my money, thus I'm never going to get ahead
- I made a stupid mistake, so I've proven myself irresponsible

Then, I start reflecting backwards:
If I hadn't screwed up so bad in the past,
- I would have savings to rely on
- I wouldn't be living paycheck-to-paycheck
- I wouldn't have so many bills to worry about

Anyway, the point was that I had everything budgeted until August...moving, trip to France, etc. Down to the *penny* almost. And, this $30 has thrown me for a whack, because I saw nothing in my budget that I could remove to compensate for the loss. So, I panic and my old extremist worry habits kick in. Then I upset my friends. :-\ To me, it's a tragedy...to others, it's just $0.10.

But, I feel better that I've moved on from the past...at least I was only upset for a few hours, as opposed to the past where I would sink into a deep depression for weeks on end. Yay for me.

Sparkly

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Thu, 01 May 2003 15:30:10 GMT

I have my pretty, sparkly bracelet back from the jewlers, and that makes me very happy. Second time I've broken it, though...guess I'm not made for such dainty things. But, I'm being really careful with it from now on! :-)

Addition

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Wed, 30 Apr 2003 18:06:04 GMT

I am also reminded of my favorite Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil quote:

"Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it."

Failure

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Wed, 30 Apr 2003 17:56:20 GMT

I am now massively depressed. No matter what I do, I can't seem to take responsibility for myself. I don't think I'll ever get ahead. I don't even think I'll ever get even close to even. I have so screwed up everything, and keep screwing it up. Christ. It seems I get a break, but then I get an unexpected setback, too. Today I feel like giving up and admitting I will never be a success at anything.

I have yet to tell my parents I've resigned from my job and am moving to Chicago. They know about the three-week trip to France, but naught else. That's going to go over like a ton of bricks. Shit.

Abortion

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Wed, 30 Apr 2003 16:23:03 GMT

This article really made me think. I am fundamentally against abortion because I am adopted and the thought that I could have been aborted is always there, nagging, in the back of my mind. However, I also would not presume to lecture someone else about their life and decisions they face. I like the points Lisa Bloom makes about the difference between a woman choosing an abortion and fetal homicide.

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Mon, 28 Apr 2003 17:19:33 GMT

This differs from most other "boy fatally shot by gang members after being mistaken as a rival gang member" stories I've read.

http://www.courttv.com/news/2003/0428/cleanupkilling_ap.html

It certainly doesn't increase my faith in the overall goodness of humanity, though. :-(

Impressed!

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Fri, 25 Apr 2003 18:52:04 GMT

Wow! Another C-U entertainment venue that I wish I had known about much, MUCH sooner: the Station Theatre. Four of us went to see a friend perform in the production of My Fair Lady last night, and it was truly excellent! I was surprised at the caliber of the actors and actresses, and how the group was able to do so much with so little. Everyone seemed such an excellent fit for his/her individual part. I was easily wrapped up in the music and fine acting, and was able to completely ignore the cramped seating and rain pattering on the roof. My back hurts today, but boy, was it worth it! I can't even begin to express how much I enjoyed myself. Perhaps I needed something to lift my spirits, and that's why I'm reacting to this extent...I don't know. But, I had a delightful time and am thankful to Farmking for his invitation, and to Ikea, drz, and Garfield for providing such fun company. :-)

Dreams

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Mon, 21 Apr 2003 15:20:55 GMT

I've started another journal, gracie_dreams, to record all my wacky dreams. If you are interested, you can add it to your friends list. I had a dream with you in it, tskirvin, so you might be interested. :-) I always have the strangest dreams and forget them by the morning...so I am going to login every night and try to rapidly record dreams each time I wake up. We'll see how it works!

Put on the gown, and assume the position....

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Thu, 17 Apr 2003 02:49:22 GMT

I HATE gynecological visits.

Speculums should be outlawed. Or, at least warmed before use.

My doctor should learn that I don't like to chat when his head is between my legs. Maybe after, but not during.

That last bit was meant to sound funny.

Squirrel!

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Wed, 16 Apr 2003 17:56:31 GMT

I tried to post an LJ entry last night with a funny picture. I can't use HTML. So, I try again!

The other day, I walked into the bathroom and screamed...there was this furry, little creature on the floor apparently sipping from my cats' water fountain!

Upon closer inspection, I realized the cats had been playing with their new, fluffy, catnip-filled squirrel, and had somehow managed to leave it in a most unusual position!

So much to do!

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Wed, 16 Apr 2003 17:50:14 GMT

I have become a slave of the to-do list. I don't follow it, mind you. I just make lots and lots of lists which make me feel like I have a modicum of control over my life. Sometimes I wish I could just imagine this sort-of flow chart of things to do, and have it appear on the screen in front of me. All this typing and thinking and typing and...uh, yeah.

Weekend

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Tue, 15 Apr 2003 17:23:55 GMT

Oh, what a splendid weekend. :-) I got to go to the Peninsula with samsup. What an experience. I can't say that I'd like to be treated like a millionaire every day like that, but once a year or so is quite nice.

We went (WALKED, I should say) from the hotel to Shedd Aquarium Saturday afternoon. It was stinking cold. But, it was still fun. We had a nice, LONG walk. There were an awful lot of people there, for some reason, so we had to wait in line for a bit. My favorite area is usually the penguin exhibit; however, this time I had lots of fun watching the sea otters. We watched the staff feed them. They were so cute and amusing!

We dined out several times and had a great weekend (except when I took a few comments a little too seriously...). I will be posting my pictures sometime soon.

Aside: only 38 days until my last day at UIUC!!! And that's COUNTING WEEKENDS!!!! It seems like it's going so quickly. Sometimes I think planning to take a three-week vacation and then move and start a new job immediately upon return was not such a good idea.... ;-)

Update

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Tue, 08 Apr 2003 04:17:23 GMT

Merlot is feeling much better...she has eaten and drank and kept it down this evening. She is still kind-of droopy, but obviously on the mend. I am so increcibly relieved.

Second, what a great game. Wow. Exciting, heartfelt, inspirational. Kudos to both coaches, and especially to the graduating seniors of each team. And, oh, what an exciting thought - almost the entire Syracuse lineup will be returning in the fall!

Lastly, I am happy to have been asked to Chicago this weekend. :-) I am looking forward to spending time with samsup without the pressure of his conference paper looming over him.

Off to bed, and back to work tomorrow.

Merlot

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Mon, 07 Apr 2003 17:10:33 GMT

Just got back from the vet with Merlot. She ate some at about 4-5am and I thought she was fine. Then, when I was getting ready for work, she started throwing up again. Vet gave her another benadryl inj and said not to worry. Huh. She seems perkier, I'm just worried about her being able to keep food/drink down. Will be staying home with her to keep an eye on her and document any further vomiting episodes. :-(

Emergency

ggbusby@cs.uiuc.edu — Sun, 06 Apr 2003 18:43:18 GMT

I took Chablis and Merlot in for their annual check-up and vaccinations yesterday afternoon. They were upset about travelling and getting shots, of course, but they seemed fine. (Except Chablis, at a few ounces over 11 lbs, can stand to lose a bit of weight.) A little while after we got home, Merlot started throwing up. I thought she was just stressed, since she had some other tests done related to suspected colitis. After a few hours, she started to vomit blood. I called the emergency vet clinic and they recommended I bring her in since it sounded like she was having an allergic reaction to one of her vaccines. Em drove us to the vet at around 7pm, and Merlot got a shot of Benadryl. Her heart was racing and her skin was bright red, but she hadn't started swelling or experiencing respiratory difficulties yet (thank goodness). She seemed a bit better upon getting her home, and I kept her by herself and without food or water for the night (per veterinary orders). She slept on the bed with me, while Chablis meowed at the door. Em & I gave her some more Benadryl (liquid) this morning. I gave her some water a little later, which she threw up. She hasn't eaten anything today, and has drank very little. She is very lethargic and I can't help being worried.

It was hard to go back to that same setting where we had dealt with Miss Kitty for so many nights. The vet remembered us.